Frozen: Heart Signs
by Loridhhp
Summary: Elsa awakens from a dream to reflect on her life and the surprising gift that opens her heart to the healing power of love. A mother's love is eternal, she learns, as a simple heart-shaped stone becomes a bridge between two realms and allows her to share her long suppressed grief of her parents' deaths with Anna. Sometimes the smallest gifts are the greatest treasures.


**Here is my first story in several years! Today I found not one but two heart-shaped stones outside. I've been collecting these precious gifts for several years since my mother passed away. As I picked up the stone, I felt this overwhelming urge to write, an urge I hadn't felt in a long time due to writer's block and a busy life. This is the fruit of my labors and my first Frozen story. So please leave a review and let me know if you like it. Be kind. It's been a while so my grammar and spelling may not be completely up to par.**

**FROZEN**

**Heart Signs**

_Eight-year old Elsa stood in the doorway of the room across the hall from where her little sister Anna darted around the servants, questioning incessantly. The child had no idea why things were about to change, and that it wouldn't be for the better. The servants continued to move Elsa's belongings into the room across the hall, their occasional sighs in the young princess's direction the only answer to the small child's queries. _

_Elsa could feel her heart break as she watched the move. It was her fault. Had she not used her powers in the Great Hall and accidentally hit an overenthusiastic Anna in the head everything would be all right. But Anna was too quick and Elsa had slipped on her own ice, her blast of energy misdirected, hitting her little sister. It was the first time that Elsa felt afraid of her powers and the damage they could cause._

_When the move was completed, Elsa took one last glance at her little sister who was trotting across the rug, curious to see her big sister's new room. Elsa sighed, saying nothing as she closed the door on Anna with a barely audible click. She leaned back against the heavy wooden door and wrapped her arms protectively around herself. She could hear Anna knocking on the door already, begging to come in so they could play. She then heard her mother's voice calmly tell Anna that her sister wasn't feeling well and needed time alone. Elsa couldn't bear to listen to her little sister plead with their mother. She covered her ears with her hands and dashed to her bed, throwing herself face down upon it. She covered her head with a pillow and sobbed, hoping the sound would be muffled enough._

_She was startled from her crying by a gentle caress and a soothing hand rubbing her back. She yanked her head from under the pillow and cowered away from the touch. Elsa wiped the tears from her face and blinked to clear her vision. Sitting on the bed next to her was her mother, her eyes shining with tears and love. The Queen exhaled a shaky breath and gave her elder daughter a tender smile. She opened her arms to embrace her hurting child. Elsa was about to rush into them, but hesitated, curling her ice cold hands against her chest. She backed away slightly, her eyes wide with fear._

"_It's all right," the Queen said softly._

"_I don't want to hurt you like I hurt Anna," Elsa replied brokenly, tears threatening to fall again._

"_You won't hurt me," the Queen stated, her arms still outstretched. "I am so sorry that your Papa and I had to separate you and Anna. One day you'll understand."_

"_Oh, Mama," Elsa wailed, as she fell into her mother's arms. "I didn't mean to hurt Anna! We were just playing. It was an accident! I'm so sorry, Mama! I don't want to hurt anyone."_

"_Shhh, it's going to be all right," the Queen soothed, caressing her young daughter's platinum hair. "No matter what happens, I will always love you. We will help you learn to control your powers somehow. Papa and I will not stop looking for a way to help you, but for now you must stay away from Anna. We now know that your powers can hurt others and we don't want that to happen again."_

_The Queen rocked her sobbing little girl in her arms, kissing her forehead and brushing icy tears from those grief-stricken cheeks. Elsa only wept harder when she realized that it was now snowing in her new bedchambers and a thin coating of frost coated all surfaces. Even though she kept her hands curled into tight fists drawn into her protectively, she noticed that her mother never let her go despite her shivering. The Queen began to sing a lullaby softly and Elsa fell into a weary sleep in her mother's arms._

Elsa awoke with a pain in her chest. Her heart hurt. She was all too familiar with the feeling. It was the end result of what seemed like a lifetime of concealing her emotions. She'd had the dream again. She was used to the nightmares she'd had since childhood when she accidentally struck her sister in the head with her magic and almost killed her in the process. She'd stopped having that nightmare when her life blew up in her face.

Her powers had been revealed during her coronation in front of everyone. She tried to flee, fearing she'd cause more damage, but Anna was one persistent little sister. Even when the endlessly optimistic young woman managed to find her in the ice palace she'd built high up on the North Mountain, Elsa still managed her nearly kill her sister again with her powers! The almost frozen girl still found her on the solidified fjord, a raging blizzard swirling around them and a snow encased Arendelle. Anna sacrificed herself to save Elsa from a fatal blow from Hans' sword.

That was the current nightmare that played itself out in Elsa's dreams since what had become known as The Great Thaw. Seeing her sister frozen solid crushed her soul more than any tragedy in her life. She broke down so completely, weeping so opening on her icy sister's shoulders. At that point Elsa didn't care if her emotions caused the entire world to freeze solid into a silent icy sentinel, a testament to her pain. She couldn't hold it back anymore. The irony of it all was that releasing those long held emotions didn't cause the world as Elsa knew it to freeze solid. Something was different and as she wept Anna thawed completely.

Of course it was Anna who was the answer all along. It was Anna who was the key to Elsa controlling her powers. It was Anna's unconditional love that shattered Elsa's frozen heart, allowing her to direct that love out to bring about the thaw. Love. It was so simple! Why hadn't Elsa thought of it sooner? She lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling, realizing she had never really allowed herself to feel that love. She never felt worthy of it.

She thought about the dream that woke her up. It was about her mother. In the three years since her parents' deaths at sea, she tried not to think about them. Thinking only caused feeling and feeling caused her room to ice over. Conceal it. Don't feel it. That's what Papa always said to her when she would begin to get emotional. He'd thought that if she could stay calm and focused she could learn to control her ice and snow. All Elsa felt was fear: fear of letting her parents down, fear of hurting anyone, fear of possibly killing someone, fear that she would never be accepted and truly loved for who she was. Or rather _what _she was. She would never be like everyone else, no matter how much she wanted it.

Elsa felt her throat clench as the pain began to move from her chest upward. _Mama. Why? Why did you leave when I needed you most? _In the dream, her mother was there, loving her and comforting her, without the slightest regard to the cold flowing from Elsa. Her mother would come to see her all the time in the early days of her confinement and Elsa cherished the loving comfort. When had it changed?

_Her powers were becoming harder to control now. At thirteen the young princess was going through the changes that would one day make her a woman like her mother. She had a very short temper and couldn't tolerate Anna's incessant knocking at her door, begging for her to come out and play or build a snowman at the first sign of winter white covering the ground._

"_Go away, Anna," Elsa yelled from the other side of the closed door. "Just leave me alone!"_

"_Why do you hate me so much?" Anna's pained plea reached Elsa's ears. "I miss you, Elsa. I'm sorry if I did something that made you mad at me. Please come out. I promise I'll be good."_

"_I don't want to play. I need to study," Elsa choked out, her lower lip trembling and a huge lump forming in her already constricted throat._

"_Okay, bye," Anna replied in a barely audible voice._

_Elsa could have sworn she heard a sniffle from her sister. She breathed a ragged sigh of relief at the sound of retreating footsteps in the hallway. Those forlorn footsteps were overtaken by much more regal footfalls delicately yet purposefully striding towards her door. A small quiet knock replaced the loud rhythmic rap of her little sister. She knew at once whose knock it was and timidly opened the door to allow her mother to enter._

"_Elsa, please try not to yell at your sister," the Queen gently scolded. "She may hide it with her optimistic nature, but Anna is very sensitive and your harsh words hurt her. I just saw her running off into her room crying."_

"_I didn't mean it, Mama," Elsa began brokenly, "I just can't handle all these changes! I feel angry one minute and then I feel like crying the next. I can't get my powers under control no matter how hard I try!"_

"_I explained what is happening to you, Elsa," the Queen stated calmly. "All girls go through these changes as their bodies mature. One day you will be a grown woman you will marry and have children."_

"_What if I don't want that? What if I don't want to have children?" Elsa paced her room, the temperature dropping noticeably, as frost began to creep across all surfaces. "I don't want to bring another freak into the world!"_

"_Elsa!" The queen gasped in shock at her daughter's self-hatred. Her eyes filled with tears, desperately wanting to ease her child's pain. "You are not a freak! I refuse to ever believe that about you."_

"_Oh, but I am, Mama," Elsa croaked, the lump in her throat growing larger with each emotion she tried to block out. _

_The Queen advanced toward her now shaking daughter, her arms open to embrace her and comfort her as she'd always done. Elsa stood still taking gasping breaths while massaging her temples. She could feel another anxiety attack coming on. When she spotted her mother getting closer, she instinctively slashed at the air to warn her off. A blast of icy energy flew from her finger tips in an arc sending long icicles propelling at high velocity in all directions. The Queen managed to throw herself to the ground, narrowly missing impalement by one of the dangerously sharp icicles._

_The Queen rose to her feet, a look of sorrow on her features. She tried to take another step toward her daughter when Elsa spotted a gash on the shoulder of her mother's blouse. There was a trickle of blood coming from a small cut in the flesh. The Queen didn't even seem to notice it, but Elsa did and panicked._

"_No! Mama, I'm so sorry," Elsa cried out. "I told you I was dangerous! I could've killed you."_

"_Elsa," the Queen begged, "please calm down. I'm fine. It's just a scratch. I know you didn't mean it."_

"_I can't be near anyone! Please, Mama, don't come near me anymore," Elsa rasped. "I don't want to hurt you."_

"_But…" The Queen began to plead with her devastated daughter._

"_Just go," Elsa whispered brokenly. "Please, Mama. And tell Anna that I'm sorry."_

_When her mother left the room Elsa lost what control she had left. She screamed, knocked over furniture, and then threw herself on her bed and wailed like a young child in the throes of a full tantrum. Her anger caused giant ice spikes to rise from the floor splintering the wood of the toppled pieces of furniture. The window panes frosted over, the sudden temperature change causing the glass to crackle as it froze. An icy wind picked up and swirled a torrent of powdery snow about the room. Elsa was all too aware that this was the manifestation of her anger, fear and self-loathing, yet she felt helpless in the face of her own destruction._

Elsa realized that was the beginning of her complete isolation. She no longer felt safe enough to allow others to touch her or for her to touch anyone else. She thought about how Anna recently told her about what she knew of that pivotal moment, of how she'd been crying in her room across the hall when she heard loud voices. She'd poked her head out to see their mother exiting the room only to lean against the door. It was the first time she'd ever seen their mother break down and cry, really sob. She told Elsa that she'd been afraid while hearing the screams and chaos going on behind the closed door, but she'd been more afraid _for _Elsa than _of _her.

It was then that Elsa knew for sure that Anna loved her. Anna told her that their mother kept repeating over and over to the frozen door that day: _I love you, Elsa! I love you so much! Please believe me. I'm here for you always. _Elsa never heard her through the storm of her own creation. She wished she'd believed in that love back then.

Her world fell apart again when her parents left on a trip and never returned. Elsa could feel the tears stinging her eyes as she recalled the trepidation she'd had about their leaving. She really didn't want them to go. She'd had a bad feeling. When their ship was lost at sea, she'd finally succeeded in achieving the goal her father had always used as a mantra; conceal, don't feel, don't let it show. She was so numb that she couldn't cry even if she wanted to. She also couldn't face people either. She'd allowed Anna to attend the memorial service on her behalf, not having the strength to leave her room.

Elsa pulled the covers up tighter and shivered, though not from cold, as she recalled the heartbreak of Anna's visit after the memorial service. She sat on the floor, her back against the door, hugging her knees to her chest, while the room iced over yet again. She could hear Anna pleading with her to let her in, that she was here for her, that they only had each other now. She couldn't even reply, her tears long since turned to nothing more than sighs and the perpetually clenched jaw. A queen must always be proper and poised, never showing sign of weakness. Her heart broke as she listened to Anna break down and sob outside her door that day, knowing she couldn't comfort her.

It was then that she began finding the hearts. For three years Elsa kept herself secluded as she prepared to officially assume the throne of Arendelle. At first she didn't notice it, or think it was strange. She would find the occasional heart- shaped leaf slipped under her door. Sometimes a small heart- shaped stone would be sitting on her desk in her study. It wouldn't happen often, but it would always make her smile.

Elsa sighed, still upset about her dream. Even though she was learning to accept her powers and herself in general, she still had trouble expressing her emotions without worrying about freezing something. She sat up in bed and lit the small lamp on her bedside table. The soft glow of the flame cast shadows of the ornate furniture around the room while the amber light flickered and danced across the formerly dark objects.

Elsa tossed back the covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She raked her fingers through the loose hair that cascaded down her back, a nervous habit she figured she'd never outgrow. She inhaled deeply, wondering whether or not she should wake Anna. After all, she _did _promise her sister that she would open up to her more and not shut her out. She chewed her lip pensively, as she tapped her bare feet on the cold floor, the subtle _tap tap tap _distracting her momentarily.

Something caught her eye. As if drawn by some invisible force she turned her attention to the bedside table. Sitting right next to the lamp was a small white heart-shaped stone. Elsa gasped, knowing full well that the stone wasn't there when she lit the lamp. She leaned over and picked it up examining it with her fingers. It was smooth and warm somehow. It felt comforting against her fingers. As she held the heart-shaped stone she was overcome with emotion that welled up from the deepest part of her soul. She clutched the stone in her hand and bolted for the door. She yanked it open only to collide with Anna whose hand was poised to knock on her door.

Elsa pulled her sister into the room by the front of the young woman's night gown and shut the door behind them. The two sisters stared at each other for a moment, each sharing the same pained look on their faces. Elsa looked down at her hand and opened it revealing the small heart-shaped stone. Anna opened her own hand exposing her own nearly identical stone. She looked up at Elsa with tears in her eyes. Elsa met her gaze with her own glassy eyes.

"Do you know what this means?" Elsa inquired of her sister. "I…I had a dream about Mama and I couldn't fall back to sleep."

"I dreamed about Mama too," Anna practically whispered. "I know exactly what this is. When we were growing up I had a hard time. I couldn't understand why you would suddenly lock yourself in your room and barely even speak to me. I was so lonely at times that I would cry in my room. Mama would always seem to know when I was feeling down. She would hand me these little paper hearts. She said they were to remind me how much she loved me and would always be there, even when I couldn't see her."

"I used to find little heart-shaped objects too," Elsa admitted brokenly. "Mama used to always come to see me during my isolation. She wasn't afraid, or if she was she still came anyway. She would comfort me the same way when I felt lonely. I didn't want to have to shut you out, Anna, but I was so afraid of my powers that I didn't want to hurt you again."

"Yet you shut Mama and Papa out too," Anna announced with a wince. "As you got older you wouldn't let them spend time with you. I can understand not wanting Papa around; I didn't want him around when I was going through those awful changes, but you shut Mama out. It really hurt her to not be able to help you through it or comfort you like she used to."

"After Mama and Papa died at sea, I would find more and more heart-shaped objects," Elsa mused, staring at the stone in her hand.

"I used to just look down on the ground in the gardens and find heart-shaped leaves and rocks," Anna admitted. "I loved finding them because they made me feel loved, like Mama and Papa were still around watching over me. I kept every single leaf, rock and paper heart."

"Anna…do you really think these stones are from Mama?" Elsa just had to ask, to reassure herself that her mother was watching over her. The tears spilled over onto her cheeks before Anna could reply.

"Elsa, do you know what day this is?" Anna asked, her voice cracking with unshed tears. When Elsa shook her head, Anna let out a strangled sob. "Today is the anniversary of when we found out that Mama and Papa's ship would not be returning and that they were lost in a storm at sea." She broke down and wept, reaching out for her sister's comfort.

Elsa didn't know what to say or do. So she did what her mother would have done: she wrapped her sister up in her arms and held her while she cried. The warmth that flowed between the two sisters caused Elsa's heart to melt further, allowing her to release the emotions she'd fought so hard to conceal. Elsa finally felt loved and accepted by the one person who mattered most. She clung to her sister and sobbed right along with her. She never had the chance to grieve the loss of her parents and now that grief was upon her in full force. She didn't have to hold back anymore. Anna taught her that love will thaw. Her mother had tried to teach her that her whole life and she never let it in, never felt worthy of that love. And now they each had their special heart signs from their mother to be that constant reminder of a never ending love. Elsa didn't freeze her room and she smiled through her tears. Everything would be all right now. She could feel it as she clutched her small heart-shaped stone.


End file.
